Gotta agree with 'sweaty towel' on this one. The diary is a bit on the poor side

The reason is that Dec has, as he said, only read 3 books in his life. The first two were utterly useless and almost led to his demise as a future rock/pop/ska/punk/porn star.

One was 'How to look like a tool' Shane Byrnes auto-biography. This was Decs favourite book. It did how ever bring great shame to the Murphy family and after being threatened with expulsion, he reluctantly lost the scruffy dog look. He did however keep the hair and now uses it as a pillow and occasionly to hide from fans.

The second was a book on basket weaving. This book was utterly useless and its only relevance is that it was used to start a small fire, so a clearing could be made, so the gardener could find somewhere to start cutting Dec's hair. Didn't work and burnt down his house, hence the pikies photo.

The third book was 'How to Drum'. This book is kept in a secret vault guarded by dogs with lasers that shoot bees from their mouth. The end result of this book hasn't come to pass yet but you can make up your own. Suffice to say the book is now off the market after Dec purchesed the rights.

Sorry for the constant abuse Dec.